Friday, February 2, 2018

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

I had heard about this book from the Down Cellar Studio podcast. The host was embarking on her own Happiness Project and I was curious. We're already into February so I won't be starting my own project but I did pick up several tips I want to try.

Rubin researched what happiness is and how to achieve it then spent a year trying to live it. Each month focused on a different aspect and then December was a culmination of everything she learned. In the end, she was happier, although there were no means of measurement. It was interesting to read what her happiness definitions were (fighting right with her spouse, for one) and to see where she failed or where the advice failed her.

She tried a Pollyanna week, where she spoke no negativity, no snide remarks, no criticisms. She failed before she got out of bed. But she kept trying, over and over.

Happiness appears to be a trait you need to continually practice. There are people out there who do not want you to be happy. Situations can tax your spirit. But, like Buddhism, it's all about practice.

Enthusiasm is more important to mastery than innate ability, it turns out, because the single most important element in developing an expertise is your willingness to practice.

Some advice is curious, such as starting a collection. Rubin tried and then stopped. It just wasn't her. One of her main truths she followed in this project was "Be Gretchen". Being yourself, 100%, when the world is telling you what you should be doing is difficult, but Rubin recognized when the happiness advice was counter to her inner truth.

I marked a few passages and quotes to help me 'think happy':


One reason that challenge brings happiness is that it allows you to expand your self-definition. You become larger. Suddenly you can do yoga or make homemade beer or speak a decent amount of Spanish. Research shows that the more elements make up your identity, the less threatening it is when any one element is threatened.


Studies show that consistently grateful people are happier and more satisfied with their lives; they even feel more physically healthy and spend more time exercising.

Gratitude brings freedom from envy, because when you’re grateful for what you have, you’re not consumed with wanting something different or something more.

One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy is to be happy yourself.

What I really took from this is compassion and gratitude are key. Again, much like Buddhism. Rubin delved into Buddhism a bit and worked on her mindfulness. That is also key to being grateful and paying attention to now.

It takes work to be happy, but in the end, it not only benefits you, it benefits those around you.

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